


The Seal Squad Needs Help

by jacquelee



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Original Work, The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Gen, but it's the blink and you miss it type so I'm not tagging it, rating for abundant (canon typical for The Magicians) swearing, there are mentions of Toph from AtlA and Janeway from ST Voyager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28391940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacquelee/pseuds/jacquelee
Summary: Sprinkles is missing somewhere in the multiverse. Santa and Eyesie call on the most determined warrior of each of the universes they can reach to find their friend.Pure crack. This is sort of a continuation of my ficHow the Seal Squad Saved Santa, but it's not necessary to read that, the relevant details will be explained. Santa is based on Whoopi Goldberg, since I watched a movie with her as Santa once and the image stuck.





	The Seal Squad Needs Help

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [lighthouse_the](https://lighthouse-the.livejournal.com) for a challenge involving a crossover and Christmas.

"What the fuck?"

Margo was not amused. Entirely not amused. One minute she had been mediating between New-Fillorians who had been arguing about restricting the use of the knife trees after having used the meth tree, and then suddenly, she was standing here. 

Wherever here was, it was definitely not New-Fillory. For one, it was far too cold. And there was a lot more snow. She tried to shake the cold off to assess the situation, feeling quite underdressed in her stylish but not very warm Fillorian style dress. Shivering slightly, she looked around. She was in a forest of some kind and it was still day, the forest not dense enough to block out the sun and the snow that was lying both on the ground and the trees making everything look even brighter. 

Her first thought was that this was some kind of traveler nonsense, or maybe some god thing again? Carefully, she took a few steps. It certainly felt real enough, and this was definitely not Whitespire, so probably not Ember pulling her into some kind of emergency illusion. But then again, there were enough other gods, dead or alive, who loved playing games like this with mortals. 

She sighed, pulling up the hem of her dress to walk through the snow, cursing the very flimsy slippers that let the cold seep through easily. With no idea where to go or what to do, she just started walking, hoping that she'd meet someone, preferably a friendly someone, who could explain where she was and what the hell was going on.

After a few minutes of walking she stopped by a tree, leaning on it to rub her feet that were starting to become icicles. Being too preoccupied with cursing the cold and trying to not freeze to death, it took her a few seconds to realize the slight 'tonk' sound she heard over her head was something she probably shouldn't ignore, or at least the arrow that was sticking out of the tree where her head had been a few seconds earlier. 

And just like that, her hope of meeting a friendly someone was dashed. She sighed, mumbling "figures, of course, why would anyone ever not want to kill me?" under her breath and ripping the arrow out of the tree holding it up like a challenge, even when she didn't feel all that confident right now. No sense in letting whoever it was who fired the arrow notice that she was just cold and miserable and not particularly up for a fight.

"Hey, you, whoever you are, if you want a fight just come at me!" Nothing happened, so she yelled louder. "Come on! What are you waiting for?"

Apparently that got the attention of whoever it was who was shooting at her, since they now answered, though she couldn't make out were the voice came from or see anyone, even when the trees in front of her didn't seem that dense. 

"Who are you?"

Okay, whatever the fuck, they brought her here but didn't even know who she was? What kind of fucked up game was this?

"Who am I? I'm High King Margo the Destroyer slash Creator! Which you really should know since you brought me here. And who the fuck are you anyways? Why did you bring me here?"

There was silence and Margo already thought the other person had left, but then a figure came down from a tree right in front of her, somersaulting down on what seemed to be a very long scarf. Margo couldn't help but be impressed with that, muttering a little "whoa" under her breath, but trying very hard to seem unperturbed by that artistic display.

Though the figure who now stood up after having landed elegantly on the ground, clad in some kind of all black and dark red leather uniform outfit (with a cape! There was definitely some capeage going on there!), with a bow in her hand and a quiver on her back with more arrows, was making that quite difficult, taking off the scarf in front of her mouth and revealing a remarkably beautiful face, shaking out her long black hair. 

"I am Nyssa, daughter of Ra's Al Ghul, heir to the demon." She waited for a beat, just looking at Margo, who was still too shocked to do anything other than stare at her. Apparently more or less satisfied with that, Nyssa continued, "I am not the one who brought you here, nor do I know who it was. I too, was taken here against my will by an unknown force."

Finally, Margo got herself together enough to at least say something, raising her eyebrows in an acknowledgment and tilting her head to the side. 

"Well fuck, seems like we both have a shit day then. Though you seem to be more equipped for whatever bullshit is going on here what with the whole Robin Hood vibe."

Frowning slightly, Nyssa tilted her head. Oh, great, no humor. How nice. This really did get better and better. 

"I do not understand. Who is Robin Hood?"

"Seriously. Oh, boy. You know what, if you're not gonna shoot me, how about we team up and find out what the fuck is going on here, and maybe get somewhere warmer? Cause my toes are about to freeze off and while wooden toes are the latest fashion, I'd rather avoid them, you know." 

Nyssa stared at her as if she had no idea what even a word she said meant, which, to be fair, she probably didn't much, but apparently she got the gist of Margo turning to walk away as she followed her shortly and fell into step beside her. 

For a few moments they walked on silently, when suddenly, Nyssa held her arm out in front of Margo to stop her. Margo was just about to protest when she heard something approach through the trees that sounded like a rather large animal. She decided that the person with the arrows was better equipped to handle whatever it was that was coming and stepped behind Nyssa, who raised her bow, nocking an arrow. 

Both of them waited tensely, Margo thinking about whatever monster or creature could be coming for them, when something came through the trees, much slower than she had anticipated. It was smaller than she had thought too but she realized that it was that while the animal was rather large, all of it was lying on the ground, forming some sort of elongated blob with a face and some paws at the sides. 

She had never been good with knowing different species of animals but this here looked like some kind of whale? But on land? Very weird. Before she could think about what it was supposed to be further, the animal had raised its head and let out some sort of loud bark, and some green sparks shot in the air that seemed to be coming from its paws, though that would be not particularly possible, would it? 

Nyssa seemed to have less of a problem wrapping her head around what was going on, since she lowered her bow and raised her hand, smiling slightly at the animal.

"Hi there. Don't be frightened, we are not here to hurt you."

Margo scoffed. 

"You speak for yourself. How the hell do you know that's not some kind of monster that's going to eat both of us. I'd say shoot it."

Nyssa looked at her as if she had just made the most outrageous suggestion ever.

"Why would I shoot it? It is clearly not a danger to us."

"Alright, Jane Goodall, you say that again when it turns into some beast with giant teeth and tries to eat us." 

Scoffing, Nyssa turned her interest back to the animal, walking slowly towards it a few steps. Margo rolled her eyes. Yeah, this was gonna end badly for sure. 

She was proven right in her attitude when suddenly several small creatures swarmed through the trees, surrounding the animal. Nyssa had nocked her arrow again, pointing it at one of the, what the hell were they, gnomes? Dwarves? They were clad in red and green little outfits, eerily like what you'd see in a mall Santa village, even complete with the little hats. 

Margo couldn't help but laugh and was just about to ask them if they lost Santa, when one of them started to speak.

"We are very sorry for the inconvenience. We are still learning to aim right. If you'd please come this way, everything will be explained." 

The elves, Margo scoffed at herself just thinking that but that was very clearly what they were, turned around, together with the animal and started walking. Not knowing what else to do, Nyssa looking at her questioningly, Margo just shrugged.

"Just follow a bunch of elves and some whale blob through the forest. Sure, what could go wrong."

Solemnly, far too solemnly for the situation as Margo reckoned, Nyssa nodded. 

"I will protect you if we are led into a trap." 

"How nice. I feel so much better now."

Clearly not getting the sarcasm, Nyssa nodded.

"Of course."

With that, she started following their strange guides. Margo sighed. No humor and no sense of sarcasm. She shook her head, rolling her eyes. Well, at least Nyssa did have that bow, so she probably still should stick to her side at least for the time being, humor or not.

After what turned out to be a thankfully short walk, Margo and Nyssa saw some structures ahead, some sort of houses, maybe a village. Thinking that was where they were headed, Margo confidently walked on, only to be stopped short by one of the elves holding up their hand. 

"This is the entrance."

Margo looked around. They were standing on a completely non-descript part of a field of snow. Nowhere she could see had something that even resembled an entrance to anything, but the elves and that strange animal seemed to know better. They formed a circle and crouched down to hit their hands in some sort of pattern on the ground, loudly saying "Ho-Ho-Ho". 

Laughing out, Margo looked over at Nyssa.

"You gotta be kidding me. Really, that's what they're going with?"

Nyssa frowned. 

"Does 'ho-ho-ho' have significance?"

Right. She had forgotten for a second who she was talking to. She was about to delve into the myth of Santa Claus when suddenly the ground opened up right in the middle of where the elves had done their strange ritual. Distractedly, she waved Nyssa off.

"I'll explain later." 

Some of the elves already disappeared into the hole that turned out to house a slide, which brought back some not so great memories for Margo. Hoping against hope they wouldn't have to go down the slide, Margo was immediately disappointed when one of the elves waved them over and explained that they were expected to do just that.

She sighed, looking at Nyssa with an exasperated acceptance, when the elf started to be a little impatient the wave becoming insistent.

"Come, come!"

Margo tilted her head and stepped up to the slide. 

"Better hang on to your ass and hope it doesn't go all the way to the core of the world. Been there done that. Not all that fun it promises to be."

She didn't wait for Nyssa's answer and instead hopped onto the slide that was surprisingly comfortable. Sliding down she couldn't help but admire the large structure that opened up all around her, illuminated brightly with neon lights, sparks flying all around. 

At the end of the thankfully not that long slide, Margo stepped out of the way and after making sure that Nyssa had made it down okay too, she just stood there, looking around with wide eyes, taking in everything around her. 

They were in some sort of giant hall, the middle of which was just an empty space now occupied by more of those animals like the one that had brought them here and many people, most of them elves but some also humans, at least as far as Margo could tell, though she felt like they probably did not belong here but had been brought in the same way she and Nyssa had, since all of them were looking around in wonder too, some with barely concealed suspicion. 

There were workbenches by the walls, some occupied by elves and Margo kind of felt giddy, recognizing what this was, or at least, what it seemed to be. Before she could say anything, Nyssa turned to her with a frown.

"This place is very strange."

"Yeah, I mean, elves, workbenches, we just need Santa and we got a complete package." The already familiar blank stare answered her and she sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time. "Santa's workshop? North Pole? Anything?" Nyssa just shook her head, frowning slightly. "Damn, where did you grow up? Did you not watch TV at all as a kid or what?"

That clearly was the wrong thing to say. Nyssa bristled and Margo realized a little too late that it might not be all that great an idea to provoke a person with a bow who had already shot at her once. 

"I am the heir to the demon. I did not have time as a child to dabble in frivolous matters. I learned to fight." She looked directly at Margo, a very thinly veiled threat. "I learned to kill. I did not have time for television."

Margo held up her hands in a gesture of surrender and smirked a little. No humor but definitely some fire. Not that bad after all.

"Alright, alright, Ms. Touchy, I didn't mean anything by it." 

They just stared at each other for a moment longer and then both went back to looking at their surroundings. 

"I do know how to use a computer."

Not really knowing what to do with that statement, that was delivered completely emotionlessly, Margo smiled a little. 

"Really? How nice for you." 

"I learned it when I was twenty four."

Wide eyed, Margo looked at Nyssa, contemplating whether she was serious, when Nyssa looked at her again, with something akin to a sly smile on her face. Margo laughed and elbowed her in the side gently.

"Look at you, finding your sense of humor after all. There's still hope for you."

At that, Nyssa frowned again, but before she could say anything, they were interrupted by a woman clad in a very familiar outfit stepping out of one of the doors on the walls of the hall and walking into the middle of the cavern.

Margo raised her eyebrows. Not the Santa she knew, but then again, this was probably not even her Earth. Or possibly not Earth at all. Or New-Fillory for that matter, or the Neitherlands. Or any of the other places she knew.

Santa, or at least the person that seemed to fit the bill in Margo's eyes, cleared her throat loudly and all eyes were instantly on her, even the elves' and the animals that both seemed to be eager to hear what she was going to say, whether they already knew what that was or not.

"Welcome!" The voice was booming, very befitting of Santa, and Margo was sure even in this giant cavern, everyone could hear her. "I am sure you all have many questions, and I do apologize for the inconvenience many of you have unfortunately endured." She seemed to specifically look towards a girl sitting on the floor a small distance from her, wrapped in blankets, clearly trying to massage some feeling back into her naked feet. Okay, she had forgotten about her frozen feet in all of this excitement, but to land here without shoes or socks at all? That can't have been fun. "This was our first attempt at opening these many interdimensional portals at the same time and while we tried to transport all of you as close to the workshop as possible, we were sometimes off by a bit."

Margo couldn't help but jump on that.

"A bit? We just walked five miles though a fucking frozen forest." She realized everyone was looking at her now – except for the girl on the floor for some reason, who just continued massaging her feet – and while most of the humans seemed to agree with her to various degrees, some of the elves frowned at her tone and Santa herself seemed to be a bit taken aback too. "I just mean, you know, we're all cold and would love to know what's going on."

At that, Santa nodded and smiled, waving at some elves who promptly brought her blankets which she gracefully accepted and wrapped herself in, contemplating sitting on the floor to also wrap her feet, but then deciding against it in favor of seeing everything that was going on. When the elves had brought blankets to everyone who wanted some, Santa continued.

"Now, what I was going to say is that we brought you here for a very important reason. It is Christmas in a few weeks and Sprinkles, one of the seals that are pulling our sleigh is missing and we need to find him before Christmas, otherwise all the children will go without presents and we don't want that after we already had that debacle with a late delivery three decades ago."

Seals, right, that's what those animals were. Margo was vaguely aware having seen a smaller version in a zoo at some point. She realized that she took this Santa having seals pull her sleigh in strides, because, why the fuck not, she'd seen weirder things. But why was this her problem, and the problem of all the other humans who had been brought here?

She clearly was not the only one asking herself that question as a woman standing a little distance from her clad in some ridiculous pajama looking black onesie, the shoulders brightly red colored, held up her hand a little, looking left and right for someone to reject to her saying something and when nobody did, she smiled at Santa a little.

"I'm sorry, I'm sure that is terrible for you, but what does this have to do with me or," she pointed around the room to the other humans, "any of us, really? Why bring us here?"

"Right, yes, the thing is that Sprinkles is still a little new at all of this and while he was getting practice in, his magic is sometimes still unpredictable. And that is how he ended up transporting himself somewhere in the multiverse and while we could bring him back if we knew where he went, we don't, so we can't and he clearly hasn't figured out yet how to send a message."

A morbid little part of Margo's brain said that he might also be dead but of course she didn't say that out loud. Better to let them hope for the best. But wait, what did that mean exactly? She saw Nyssa frown next to her, clearly not understanding what Santa wanted from them and she stepped forward a little, her experience in planet hopping coming in handy.

"So what, you want us to go back to our worlds to look for your… blob… thingie… seal?" 

A bit afraid that she had come across as offensive, Margo stepped back again, but Santa just smiled brighter at her and the room in general.

"Exactly! We will equip all of you with special fairy dust to teleport and a magical locator and communication device, so that you can tell us if Sprinkles is somewhere in your world. We can't send elves, we tried, but they got lost or even faced danger from locals and since the locator has a limited range it is imperative to know where best to go to efficiently scan and avoid any negative interactions. 

That is why we had the idea to summon the best and most determined warriors of each of your worlds, who also have an affinity towards animals, so that they, you, may take on this task and help us find Sprinkles. It should not take you more than a few days at the most."

"What if we don't want to do it?"

Margo was basically already on board with the idea, because why the fuck not, do some planet hopping to find a magical blob, but she still wanted to know. 

"Nothing happens, we will simply send you back and summon the next best candidate."

"Wait, so what, which number are we? Are we like, the first or way down the list already?"

"You are the first group. All of you have been deemed to be exceptionally well equipped for this task."

Margo gave Nyssa a little side eyed once-over and hummed. Well, why not, clearly she liked animals well enough, even if she had no clue when it came to pop culture. Of course, they didn't even know each other that well, but they shared a look and Margo shrugged before both of them nodded.

"Sure, why not, let's go find your Sprinkles. Sign me the fuck up."


End file.
